- Home - Computers - Television - Photos - Links - Navigation - Community

index
the iquotd
- was updated May 6, 2022

features
- dvd3000 home
- quotes
- objects
- text of hte week
- last time
- inconveniences

what is this
this page is a collection of things that I've heard other people saying IRL or on the internet, as well as other funny posts and things that we've uploaded.

post something here! if you have anything you want to submit just send it over by email to kat@dvd3000.ca or talk about it on the forum!
~> quotes <~
"I will exist off solely cinnamon buns"
"No stop eating the cup!"
"Il y a un souris qui grimpe sur mon tete."
"Do you even know my first name?? Yeah its "Miss""
"Code Red No WIFI!"
"Did you see my homework in the fridge?"
"The automatic carriage apprears to be busted"
"Windows 10 be like; "were getting everything ready for you""
"Smartulator "New look, same old taste!""
"You can hire a bodyguard to carry your plastic for you"
"Don't make a mess cause the garbage guys have to pick this stuff up and I don't want them to be like "WHAT THE FUCK!!!""
"I wish I never saw that." IWINST count: [97] and slowly growing
"Are you a newspaper? Cause there's a new issue with you every single day"
"If you breathe on the projector wrong it will turn off so please don't breathe"
"Would you like your peanut butter with or without crust?"
"I won't be there i'll be sick that day."
"Home is where the house is."
"Yurt on a shirt"
"My daughter claims she's missed out on [ 59112 ] dates because I have tied up the phone line with the modem."
"Let's take all these bad chemistry jokes... and barium!!!"
"8 minus 8 is 8"
"OwO que c'est ca?"
"You can't have half a person... Well I guess you could"
"Do NOT speak English"
"XD MOMENT"
"Je suis... Triggered!"
"I'm bohrd of these bohr models"
"That could do with a more bettering!"
"Is a transceiver like a receiver but transgender?"
"This meatloaf tastes like it was freshly laid from a chicken"
"This fish is crusty!"
"Whales have existed for at least one year"
"Why would I drink a salad?"
"It's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager."
"Friends are like bananas, if you peel their skin and eat them, they die."
"Friends are like snowflakes, if you pee on them, they disappear"
"Capitalize the first number"
"It's bacon bubble gum!"
"I didn't know vapes had muscles? And snakes???"
"If you can't swim, don't swim."
"Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs."
"the mine is where the ores are"
"70% of Americans will not buy Corona Beer under any circumstances due to the Corona virus"
"Supply of quotes is limited due to the corona"
"Your laptop makes it look like you're up to something"
text of hte week
Nov 25 2020:
Uhh... I don't really know what to put here. I still hear a lot of things that could go here, but I haven't been writing them down. Just stay tuned to this page for the next while becuase I might try to bring back the almost-daily posts on Text of hte week!

I was going to make another coronavirus joke, this this "pandemic" is seriously just degrading at this point.


June 13 2020:
were all in this together !!! <3 dont wOry we can get thru these tough times of a totally real has barley affected anyone pandemic.

Ok, I get that this has affected the world, and it definitley has affected some people, but really we are overreacting way too much.

At least things are starting to become normal again?? I don't know anyone who's even come into contact with the cortanavirus.


April 27 2020:
I say we rename the coronavirus to the cortanavirus, so we can blame Microsoft for this, and the useless lazy peice of crap known as cortana will be removed from Windows 10. (but really, oosu10 does a good job at this already)


April 24 2020:
Happy Corona time.
Y'know.. having all this time is kinda cool. Made me want to revive this page. If you're bored, go do something similar. We can do this, we can defeat boredom!... I mean defeat the virus or something.


Dec 6 2019:
> Without using numbers, how old are you?

> Nineteen.

> now listen here you little sh**


Dec 5 2019:
Trash Can Wind Meter

Lid flipped open
Tipped over
In the neighbor's yard
Down the street
I've lost my trash can


Dec 4 2019:
"Why does ha make hot but hoo make cold? I'm talking about mouth wind.


Dec 3 2019:
Shopping cart wheels be like:

Stone BricksMonster egg Stone Bricks
Stone BricksStone
Bricks


Dec 2 2019:
WARNING

Having a brain can cause brain cancer.


Dec 1 2019:
Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable adults.

Anti vax parents have it right then. You cant become a miserable adult if you don't become an adult.


Nov 26 2019:
If you drink the liquid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future trust me my friend did once and he said he was gonna die and then he did!


Nov 25 2019:
I only just realised now that when someone says "hold your horses" they're telling me to be stable.


Nov 25 2019:
Insane fact:

Did you know that if you stretched your lungs out on a tennis court, you would die because you have no lungs.


Nov 24 2019:
Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Omg yes!

Then stay 92,935,700 miles the fu** away from me.


Nov 24 2019:
Turkey

Directions: First find the turkey in the woods. Get him with a gun. Then carry him to my house then cook him in the oven.

Cooking time: 10 minutes
Temperature: 5 degrees


Nov 21 2019:
Is your refrigerator running?

yeah

HAHA YOU FOOL! You have fallen prey to one of my tricks! I was not interested in the operational condition of your refrigerator! I was simply conducting a slight of hand in the form of clever wordplay! What I was refrencing was the movement of your refrigerator, in the form of physical running, which is simply preposterous!

Curses! Foiled again!


Nov 20 2019:
Rating: *****

This game is horrible. It's a horrible. Very very a horrible. My daughter Emilia wanted download the it the game on her iPhone, and she ask me, and I said "sure, my child". But alas, when I returned, she was had been a the died. This game is very cursed, and is bad and will haunt and ruin and brain


Nov 20 2019:
Whenever my phone battery gets to 0% it shuts off and if I turn it on without charging it, the white led blinks. It only boots when I plug in my charger. Is it a problem or is it a normal thing?


Nov 19 2019:
My brain while studying: George Washington

My brain during the test: jorg washingmachine


Nov 17 2019:
Things to do when you're studying:

- Watch Television
- Use your phone
- Play Minecraft
- Watch cartoons
- Learn HTML


Nov 15 2019:
Oh you're in debate club?

Yeah but you shouldn't join because you need to be really smart to join debate club.

...Why are you in it then?


Nov 14 2019:
Mary had a little lamb
whos heart was black as coal
it crept into her room one night
and ate her fu**ing soul


Nov 5 2019:
If you don't watch an entire series you are not a true fan.
If you do watch an entire series you are not a true fan.

You are only a true fan if:
You are powered by electricity
Have multiple flat blades
And spin around really fast.


Nov 4 2019:
The blood test came back positive.
You have:

blood


Nov 3 2019:
FACT:

The blue whale is so large, that if it were laid long way on a basketball court, the game would be cancelled.


Nov 3 2019:
FACT:

If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.


Nov 3 2019:
FACT:

Most people think that t-rexes can't clap because they have short arms, but it's actually because they're dead.


Oct 31 2019:
1> Yes! It's alive!

2> If furries want to be animals do we have the right to hunt them?

1> Oops, I forgot to add the brain.


Oct 29 2019:
So the teacher was talking about how she has to decorate the classroom for halloween and some kid made some suggestions but the teacher said that she was poor and couldn't do it. I look over to her desk and see a bunch of essential oils and a diffuser. NOW I know where the money went.


Oct 24 2019:
If you have 8 dots and someone takes your 8 dots you have 0 dots, but now they have 8 dots. So 8 minus 8 is 8.


Oct 23 2019:
If my house was gonna fall into a hole and I could only grab just ONE thing, why not just fall into the hole and i'll still have everything, it'll just be in a hole. Not that different right!


Oct 21 2019:
My words are pretty wordy.
They're as wordy as those words,
And when a page is wordless,
I can fill it up with words.
The page you're reading right now has words
But I bet my words are wordier!
And if you claim your words are wordier than my words I'll throw my words at your herd.

(?)


Oct 20 2019:
Me:
Accidentally clicks on a fortnite video

YouTube:
Ah, I see you like fortnite videos now! *sets reccomendations*


Oct 18 2019:
Teacher:
So to do 1+1 you get 1 dot and add another. Now you have 2 dots!
So what's 1+1?

Class: 2!!

Teacher: Ok good here's the worksheet.

Worksheet: (-2)x64-(-9)x7+(-7x4x9)=


Oct 17 2019:
Once I wept, for I had no shoes. Then I came across a man with no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, its not like he needed them anyways.


Oct 15 2019:
A popular text stolen form who knows:

I'm not gonna pay my taxes. What are they gonna to tax me more? Oh i'm going to jail? The one built using MY tax dollars? Didn't pay them. Now there's no jail. I am always 3 steps ahead of the government at all times.


Oct 14 2019:
Water Bottle Acheivments:

  • Purchased
  • Used
  • First Dent
  • Transported
  • Used 10 Times
  • Spilled


  • Oct 6 2019:
    If you put a bee in the freezer it will get cold and fall asleep. Put the bee in your mouth and it will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.
    Why the fu** would I do that?


    Sep 23 2019:
    >Me running out of area 51 with proof vaccines cause autism

    >guard wondering why im running out empty handed


    Sep 16 2019:

    April 5, 2007
    admin wrote:
    We released a new update today. Did it work?


    April 6, 2007
    cat wrote:
    it dun work
    objects
    what i heard last time
    April 11, 2022
    I saw this lady drive by in a 2002 Toyota Camry with her best friend, the passenger seat. It was even dressed up with a shirt, a face and a hat! How nice. Free HOV forever!

    May 18, 2021
    Dude at school today literally brought a bundle of cat6 into the classroom and showed his friend like "so this is cat6 cable" bro are you networking the school or what.

    Nov 25, 2020
    Few days ago was the first day in the new english class, and we are instantly not allowed into the computer room again because people kept rotating the monitors, someone ripped a dvd drive (the whole drive) right out of a computer case, someone pushed a running computer onto a keyboard and spilled water on a keyboard. What makes people do this kind of stuff?

    June 12, 2020
    I was at Tim Hortons, and while I'm standing in line, this old lady walks in, dressed like she's a rich person from the 1800s, and she just casually brings in an entire shopping cart with 2 handbags in it, and casually just orders food like this is completely normal.

    May 21 2020
    So I was at Thrifty Foods, and I grabbed a cart from the smashed cart return to use. When I was going to go into the store, this guy at the front was like "you need to wash the cart move your hands". So I moved my hands, and he washes the cart so slowly that it starts rolling away a tiny bit. Then he says "your hands are dirty because you used the cart", and he washes my hands. I'd been here for so long a line was forming behind us. Calm down, I'm not going to get the cortanavirus cause I touched a cart.

    Apr 27 2020
    I was at save on again and my brother accidentally coughed and everyone there is like "MOVE GO AWAY 6 FEET SOCIAL DISTANCING" like, calm down I don't have the cortana virus.

    Nov 18 2019
    Clean up your crumbs off the table we have rats- But hOw do rATS get up on the table? JUST CLEAN UP YOUR- HOW DO RATS GET UP ON THE TABLE? Just clean up your food and crumb- but I still don't know how rats get up on the table, rats stay on tha flOOOR they dun go on the table why should it matter if theres crumbs on the table-

    Nov 12 2019
    I was in save on with one of those rolly basket things and this old guy looked at me like "how DARE you create so much noise with that basket of yours?" and me looked like he wanted me to die. sheesh.


    slight inconveniences
    May 6, 2020
    When I was taking a shower, I noticed paint on the tiles near the ceiling. This cannot be unseen.


    May 1, 2020
    We all think the house is dusty, but when you vacuum the house, you quiclkly realise there is just a lot of paint specks on the floor.


    April 27, 2020
    I got oreos out, but there isn't any milk.


    April 19, 2020
    There is no toilet paper, because for some reason this situation calls for toilet paper.

    ~ more from dvd3000.ca ~
    beautiful works of art in the next dimension
    the ultimate dos machine kicks ur rgb ass
    the worst house award for 2019
    where is the internet going? why are you here?
    the $400 pancake cooking hot plate
    more from out dvd3000.ca!

    looking for something?
    we got an index